Honor the Space

Originally posted 12/6/2016
I learned about emotional agility on National Public Radio yesterday and believe Susan David’s work resonates extremely well with the Nurtured Heart Approach. I am looking forward to reading her book Emotional Agility: Get Unstuck, Embrace Change, and Thrive in Work and Life.

The e-book version of Emotional Agility is on sale for $1.99 this week only. 

Key takeaways from this interview:

• Emotional agility is the ability to be with our thoughts, emotions and stories in a way that is congruent with our values and goals.
• Overemphasis on positivity and happiness may undermine our ability to be resilient. Negative encounters, experiences and emotions are inevitable. We need to learn how to be effective with negative emotions by fostering our ability to address challenges and solve problems.
• Susan David cautions us about “bottling” and “brooding,” which are ways of getting stuck in lower levels of well-being. She recommends the we “show up” to difficult experiences by exercising a sense of curiosity and compassion. She suggests that we pause to notice thoughts and emotions to see what signs surface in terms of what we value as meaningful and important.
• When people take time to examine stressors they are better able to shape goals and take responsibility for actions. Noticing thoughts and feelings helps to create space between you and the action that you take.
• We are often drawn to “premature cognitive commitment,” a quickness to categorize or lean toward narratives that we’ve heard repeatedly. David encourages us to recognize this tendency while opening our hearts and our minds to being more curious and thoughtful about the way we wish to be in the world. ​
• Emotional agility skills are critical for all aspects of life. David recommends that we cultivate our ability to identify emotions and grow our capacities to handle stressors. She also compels us to allow and encourage children to navigate intense emotions rather than rescue or protect them from difficulties. If we allow children to process emotion and grow in their ability to be compassionate and kind with themselves, they can learn to honor the space between stimulus and response.